Originally Posted by
Selah 
The releif i have felt in the last fews days is amazing...
This feeling is a big clue, Selah. I'm glad you're paying attention to it. I know about all of the guilty feelings all too well. I had the suicide-threats-through-friends too. At first it made me so sad and worried. Then it made me so mad, because I realized that it was all just carefully orchestration manipulation. He KNOWS this will get back to you.
Still pulling your strings. I'm sure that, down deep, there is much to love about him. But right now he's just doing what addicts do -- doing & saying anything he can to get you back and have things the way he wants them: he doesn't have to try hard, and you are there for him no questions asked. That's his dream world.
Glad you're living in your own world for the moment! Remember, you can still love him from a distance. He has to do this for himself, not because you give him a reason to live. Unless you WANT that kind of pressure for your whole life? So, you have to always stay, for the next 70 years, no matter how abusive he gets or how desperately unhappy you are, because if you don't he'll commit suicide?
Keep pointin' your head, your heart, and your feet toward joy, Selah!!
Hugs
GL