I just don't know if its worth it.
I hate feeling like this, I just want these bad thoughts to go away. Its not nice having constant, intrusive thoughts about drinking, self harming and everything.
There is another meeting tonight, and this one has people in it, so hopefully if I cry all the way through again, someone will speak to me afterwards. Somethings stopping me from reaching out, but I don't know what.
I've phoned the Mental Health Team for an update on my case, and they are going to phone me back. Fingers crossed its good news - last time this happened, it was bad news.
I just thought that maybe after 10 months I'd be a little saner? I wish I knew how long the pain was going to last, at least I could make an informed descision.
Thanks for the support, I appreciate it.
Living sober is quite different from living dry.