Hi All,
Yes, Ray, I still check in now and again to see how everyone is doing. My life is so different than it was a year or so ago, that I can't even imagine how I ever lived that way.
The last time my XAH went to jail, it took my sponsor and her alcoholic husband a good 2 hours to talk me through not bailing him out again. I listened to them (thank God!!) and it turned out to be the very best move I've made in the last 10 years. He stayed in jail, I got a divorce, he went to rehab, and I have moved on with my life.
My life is not all about addiction any more! I never dreamed that would be possible, but changing the way I was doing things (enabling him) made the difference in my world. When I look back at the way I lived, it makes me sick. I wasted SO many years allowing addiction to run my life, color my world and break my heart.
It took a little while to get used to being single, but I am so much happier. I haven't planned a murder or a suicide in 14 months! I haven't had to look in the mirror and hate myself for being a wimp and giving in to him....again. I sleep soundly and dream pleasant dreams. My whole life changed because of one decision.....to go my own way and let him go his.
I still love you guys, however, and still want to hear of your triumphs. The road through addiction was SO hard, but the lessons have made me a better, stronger, happier and more grateful person.
((Hugs))
Babs