Hello Kitty.... your boundary if he stays out on a binge he can't come home has me thinking about my own boundaries I need to set and enforce. Right now the only boundary I really have is if when he calls he starts in about me not writing or me not doing this or that, I hang up and take the phone off the hook so he can't annoy me calling back.
I've asked him to call once a week, on Fridays. Which mostly he sticks to but there are instances he doesn't. Also, he has a habit of ruining holidays, birthdays, special outings, and vacations with his bad attitude. My birthday last week was no different... he called to wish me happy birthday and maybe a couple other sentences before he started in about me not writing and how i better write and i better send it soon. I told him once he wasnt talking to me like that, and he continued that i was gonna write blah blah blah so I hung up. He didn't ruin my birthday or my attitude now, I've learned to ignore him mostly... Anyway, so what does he do?
He writes me a letter, at my work address, where he has repeatedly been told by me not to write me at work. It annoys the crap out of me that he keeps writing me at work with a total disregard to my request. (I have a home address!) So, really, the apology and other things he wrote really don't mean much seeing as he couldn't follow this simple request to write me at home, not work. Although most people I work with know where he is, I just don't want to get mail stamped "mailed from a correctional institution" or "inmate mail" at my work. Anyway, mostly just venting here... I've got a lot of thinking on boundaries, consequences and enforcing them.
Thanks everyone for posting. I learn alot from you all.
Hi Babs & Dakota!