((greet))
Great Big Hugs. Lots of things trigger these feelings. Sometimes it's the season, sometimes the weather and sometimes there are things that we read, or smell or even someone saying something that takes us back to a time of great pain. It may not even be something that is a direct impact on us personally, but rather something we empathize with. That trigger may not even be obvious.
You've been through so much Greet. You've climbed a mountain and topped it and going down the other side, it may be easier now, but it's still the mountain.
Expectations may let us down sometimes, but we can't live without them. We just learn to manage them as best we can. It's not our shortcommings for having those expectations. Your expectation was a very reasonable, informed one. Anyone thinking you can or should just snap out of it....well my first thought was, I've got something I'd like to snap out of them. LOL
My biggest concern though reading your post is, do you have too high of an expectation of yourself? Do you allow yourself the relief of knowing that it's OK to need a break, it's OK to sit and take a rest, it's OK to be on those meds as long as you need to be? It is OK Greet, you are a human being, with feelings. You have a wonderful kind, loving heart, and you have feelings that can be hurt.
I'm sending lots of Prayers and Hugs your way. Love you girl.
B