Originally Posted by
PhoenixRizing60 
****Update****
Is it worse to go thru my father being an alcoholic,my brother being a pot addict, and my mother having a gambling problem and an adulterer and there 38 yr marriage ending in divorce while your a young kid or an adult? All of this has happened to my family in the last 2 yrs of my life. Im just wondering which scenario in age would have been more painful for me? I dont know the answer to this and I probably will never know. I know that the pain is pretty bad and the losses I have suffered are HUGE...I will just keep praying for all of them and hopefully they will come to their senses some day. But at the same time I cant put my life on hold. I need to find a way to go on and live my life to the fullest. And find as much happiness and peace as I can.
I had a "normal" childhood growing up, in that my mom did not display the signs of being an alcoholic. It actually began my sophomore year of college. Although I can frame what is healthy and what is not healthy it has been extremely difficult to not look on the past and wish like crazy it could just go back to that. I find that to be the most difficult part of it happening this "late" in my life. There is more looking back than looking forward and that is NOT healthy. I honestly think this is more painful, but not more difficult to work through, than growing up like this. Unfortunately you and I know a normal and life isn't that anymore.