Hello-Kitty... thats where alot of my enabling him came in too... just because I like doing nice things for others... a caretaker as you say. Is he working yet?
Hi CAROL... Welcome to SR! I bailed my AH out time and time again... I wasted so much $$ on bonds. I won't do that again. I finally reached my enough is enough. I haven't sent $ except for his birthday while he's been in prison. They can get by without $ if needed. They get food. If they don't have $ on their account, they
get personal hygiene items once a month from the state or from local churches. The extra $$ can go toward the snack/coffee machines or sometimes they can puchase tennis shoes, radios etc. From what I hear drugs are available. But if they drug test you and you fail, you'll go to the "hole" (solitary confinement) up to several months. I understand about not wanting to visit or send $$. He did a lot of things, broke a lot of trust. It takes time and effort to gain trust back. When he gets serious about recovery and if he works the steps, he'll make amends to you and not place blame. Like Babs said, it's just classic addict manipulation and blame placing. Anything to take the focus off them and shift it to you so they don't have to own up to their addictions/ problems.
Be sure to read the sticky post "what addicts do" at the top of the forum. Addiction turns our loved ones into "an evil person" that does and says things our loved one wouldn't say or do. Try not to take it personally. It is the evil twin talking. Your son is still there and hopefully will take over and start working his recovery when he realizes how his actions have gotten him where he's at. Keep reading and posting. You'll get lots of support and encouragement here. Attend meetings if you can!