War Stories and the Preacher
In my home group, we have recently had a few members express concern that war stories are creeping in...too much focus on the addict. I think generally this is limited to one or two people who haven't quite gotten it yet, but as our group is growing, sometimes it is a concern. In one meeting, it seemed a couple of members started feeding off each other and the chair let it go.
We announced anyone was welcome to stay after our meeting to go over the format and see if we can clarify some things. We did make some changes that we will bring to the group to approve and I think they may help to remind members about sharing and our focus. But we had no clear concensus on the approach to take if a member starts to focus too much on the addict. Clearly we would like to save that for our last 15 minutes (where problems are brought to the group) But I have seen the chair (we change the chair monthly) be a bit too direct about it and embarass the person. I've also seen a chair let it get too out of control.
The other issue is that one of the most senior members loves to preach and has been progressively getting worse...He loves to tell the newcomers what they should do...How they should work their recovery, etc and uses words like "you need to" and few I statements. He has certain "sermons" he repeats often and tends to ramble. I must admit, i find him more of a distraction than the occassional war stories. No one feels comfortable with how to deal with this, but it has become apparent that it is tearing down the group a bit.
Has anyone faced similar issues with the war stories or the preaching in your meetings and do you have any suggestions? This is a wonderful group and I think we all want what is best for the group as a whole. I suspect the meeting format will help to discourage the focus on the addict, but the preaching...I'm not sure.
Hugs