View Single Post
Old 09-04-2007, 12:12 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Octoman
Member
 
Octoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: London
Posts: 345
I wear myself out

I feel like a bit of a rant I'm afraid so ignore me if you want but its true. I seem to be governed by endless compulsions. Alcoholism is an obvious example but as my sober time has built up I have for the first time in my life been able to take a step back and look at myself and I am beginning to realize I have had compulsive behaviour in one form or another all my life.

Obvious examples have been heavy smoking and massive coffee drinker. Quit both now. Less obvious until recently have been odd compulsions that suddenly grip me and control my life for months, even years at a time. For example I decided to do up my garden last year. Instead of just planting a few plants I decided to dig up my entire lawn, by hand with a spade and then seive all the soil of stones and plant a new lawn from scratch. I worked about 6 hours per day every weekend for 3 or four months to do it. Why???? My lawn was Okay!!!

Another example - in my last flat I decided to re-do our bathroom. For some reason I decided to repaint every tile by hand with acrylic paint. There are literally HUNDREDS of tiles. It took hours every evening for about five months to do. WHY?????

Driving a few months ago I spotted a rollercoaster from my car window. I couldnt wait to get home to research rollercoasters. i read everything I could about the thing for weeks on end, getting up in the night to check on facts, read books, even persuaded some friends we should go on a beer fueled roller coaster holiday in the US!!! Why??? I'm not interested in them now.

Skyscrapers?? I had an obsession that lasted for a few years of researching skyscraper buildings. I became a member of countless societies, online forums etc. London doesnt have any

The list goes on all my life. Karate, radio controlled car racing, mountain biking, marathon running, hill walking, astronomy, cooking, jogging, squash, golf, learning french / german/ spanish/ japanese / czech, weight training, painting, writing, rollerblading, kite boarding, surfing, swimming, diving, rowing, european history, american history. All of these things at some point have taken over my life and dominated for months and then disappeared in a flash.

I collect everything. It infuriates my wife. Something about collections really satisfied me. I have all over the house collections of : erasers, beer mats, travel books, stamps, coins, CD's, videos, DVD's, LP's, wine glasses, cider mugs.

My mind never gives up and sometimes I drive myself utterly insane. I have begun to realise that drinking has probably been away to give me a rest from myself.

Weird Huh?
Octoman is offline