Sally,
Wow did you strike a chord with me. Same exact feelings - sounds like I could have written it all. I can't offer you lot of advice but I can tell you you are not alone.
My A is talking about getting away for a couple of days....... Yeah, heard that one before. THIS time, I'm not going to put myself through it and ride the roller-coaster. I am going to be happy and tend to me.
Anyway thanks for sharing, and letting me know I am not alone.
Best wishes.