Cool tattoo!!! I know how you feel. I had so much more self-esteem before I married my AH. To add insult to injury, he had 3 daughters prior to marrying me. Well, part of alcoholism is to blame, right? So he blamed me for everything, to them. Raised them to disrespect me. He blamed me to his mother. Allowed her to be a huge negative influence in my life. He created a small city of people who thought I was/am a horrible person. He was/is their savior. When the issue of alcohol came up, his kids were in denial and thought I was convincing him he had a problem when he didn't. His mother blamed me for it. She told others I pushed him into it.
UGH!!!!! It hurt so much. I haven't recovered yet. Will take a while. At the time, I thought I was doing an okay job handling it. But now I see how horrible it was. I should have gotten out. It did so much damage to my self-esteem.
We're headed to his family's home town this weekend for a family reunion. I'm staying at the hotel. Why would I want to go visit with him family, either close ones who have been convinced I'm the devil, or distant, who have heard I'm the devil. Forget it.
Trying to break the cycle as well. Good luck and keep up the good work.