Well done, Rozied, and you're right, they ARE grown men, just like my son.
I don't know if you remember JustTired (JT) who used to be a moderator on Alanon, but early in recovery she and I often wondered if we would still be looking after our sons from the nursing home when we got old. There just comes a time when enough is enough is enough.
They can find money and opportunity to get their drugs and you can be sure they can find a way to look after themselves even if it's not as nice as we might wish for them.
Sometimes we hang on for so long, we forget what it is we are hanging on to.
Hugs