What I see in this, Heather, is your inability to refocus your thoughts. You are, from your writing, obviously very intellectual and very smart.. but I keep thinking all this intellect is just not practical sense.
Every thread is about HIM and this relationship with HIM.. and what you are doing to save this relationship WITH HIM and about how you are trying to recognize HIM in HIS recovery.
The next time you write (in your response to this thread or in a new one), try writing an entire paragrpah about YOU with NO MENTION OF THE ABF. Try talking ONLY about you and ONLY about your inner child with not a word about this relationship or him.
That simple step is PRACTICE. Do it in four sentences. Say it all in brevity. That is PRACTICE.
The constant cycle of intellectualism you have yourself trapped seems to have become a mask and several layers that separates you from yourself and from reality and from your own recovery!!!
Try making it simple and try saying something without him in it at all. Try removing the layers of intellect and reveal the core which is, BTW, your inner child and who YOU are. Try that for your next response.. and then do it again for the response after that.. and keep on doing it. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.
Short stories and speeches under 2 minutes are the most difficult to write!