Hi Calabash-
So many wise things said before this. I want to say well done on your recovery and working your program.
As a wife, its soo hard to deal with the aftermath of addiction. Believe me, I'm going through it right now and without a program of my own, I'd be insane. It took a long time for me to realize that it wasn't JUST my husbands drug abuse that was causing all the problems in our marriage. I wasn't doing drugs so WHY should I get a program?! I thought all these folks were just crazy.
Until I hit MY bottom, just as you reached yours, I wasn't willing to start a program and to continue to work it.
Trust is something that I still haven't gained back in my husband and it will be a very long time before I do. I still put up my debit cards and credit cards, the check books are hidden and he has no access to any money that we may need to pay our bills. He tells me it hurts him for me to do that but he understands.
Things will never go back to "normal" whatever that is. This experience won't allow it. We will always have this in our past BUT we don't live in the past, we live in today, one day at a time. We've both changed and for our marriage to survive, we'll have to grow into that change with eachother.
Counseling is a great idea. Heck, even "earth people" have to have counseling sometimes!
(((Calabash))) (((mrs. calabash))) I am glad that you and your wife have worked this out.