Thread: Double winners
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Old 10-24-2003, 02:45 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Just Deb
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Wakefield, MI
Posts: 3
Thanks for the feedback. I brought it up at meeting today because the readings really pertained. Newbies and long-timers, alike, felt the same. What it came down to, was that it's not so much a problem with the double winners but with one particular long-time double winner who just walked in and took over.

Our second meeting was started very recently because we needed it. Once a week is not enough for many. The group this week was so large that we counted off and split up so everyone would have a chance to talk. When it was my turn, the person in question walked out, interupted the other group to look for 4th step booklets, threw one on their table and said, "Here. You should be working on this." Then she came back and passed out booklets to everyone but me, apologized for the interuption and sat down. At this point I passed 'cuz I was a bit of a mess that day anyway, and by then my focus was blown. She literally came out of her chair, and very loudy and pointing her finger at me, said, "YOU need to do this, and YOU need to do that! SHE doesn't!" (pointing at another newbie) Um...I don't understand. The difference between me and the other newbie is I've got two more weeks under my belt and I don't cry through the entire meeting anymore.

I came to Al-Anon because I felt safe to learn and heal. I've been attacked all my life and I really didn't need it at a meeting. If I hadn't been dumbstruck by her attack I would have walked right out of there, but I was blown away. Hey, I can get that crap at home and save myself the trip.

I am not generally such a crybaby. But hey! This program really works! A month ago I would not have been able to stand up for myself, or even realized that it was inappropriate behavior on her part.

Apart from her usual bullying, this is the second 'serious' offense and according to WSO, two Al-Anons can approach her and ask her to cease and desist, or leave. The other double winners are fine when she isn't around stirring things up. Not a very good example of the program at work, especially for someone with 20+ years around the tables.

Again, thanks for your help. I sure hope this works itself out.
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