I think recovery is a time of adjustment for everyone and conflicts are bound to arise, especially before all the healing is done. Out of need, she may have become used to being in "control" at least over the children and it will take time for her to trust that you have something valuable to offer also, even if your views differ.
Your behaviour was just fine. She isn't used to you behaving that way so was probably confused. She may have seen it as withdrawl from the issue, and she may have preferred to continue talking about it. Doesn't make her right, it just means that you haven't learned to recognize the motives in each other yet.
A boundary that worked for my son and I was that conversations must remain respectful. As soon as they became heated or hurtful or even over emotional...the conversation was over until cooler heads prevailed.
My thoughts are to be patient with her, as she is probably trying to be patient with you too. It takes time for everyone to heal and to adjust to the newer better way of living.
Also, couple counselling has helped many here because it is in a neutral setting where each gets a chance to speak uninterrupted with a counsellor/moderator there to make sure it is kept balanced and safe.
Hope this helps a little, maybe the spouses here can add a lot more insight than I can as a mother.
Hugs