Stick with it Amelia! I'm just coming out of a horrible relapse myself(new sober date,July 15).We just have to get right back on that bicycle! Confronting and percieving the world with sober brain cells is challenging and rocky! Practice and courage will yield satisfying results! The sobriety time I did acquire has taught me better how to live one day at atime,deal with resentments, have a new/better outlook, muster hope for the future and feel better about myself. Despite my relapse the personal benefits gained from my previous sober time are still with me to utilize (I was drinking for abt aweek--had several months of sobriety prior).My sober friends and acquaintances in AA help me tremendously.It will get better for both of us--just continue to hang in there and do the next right thing! God Bless You!