Hi and Welcome,
I'm so glad you found us and please know that you are not alone. There is lots of support here. I can sure relate to the self-loathing that you talk about. I don't think I could have harmed my body the way I did with alcohol, if I hadn't hated myself.
If you're interested you might also like to check out these teen links:
http://www.12stepforums.net/teens.html http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42762 http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom4.html