Originally Posted by
hbb 
Nan your right, i know that, it's just that i had to sit there and listen how wonderful i was and she didn't work, drank, drugged, thought she left him for another woman. So you right, things probably won't work out but i often think that a quality 9 months together (he talked about marriage) as opposed to a quantity of 8 years with her is a big difference. He was single a year between us. I know he has MAJOR issues but i'm having a hard time. Days definately get easier but still hard to let go. I know it's a short time, but i guess it wasn't to me when i thought he was the one. Guess he did me a favor, someday i'm hoping to believe that.
Heather, here are some of the terms you've used to describe your ex...lying, cheating, hiding, yelling and selfish. With an ugly interior that his handsome exterior could not compensate for. Somebody who had to be in bed early to avoid drinking and you've described him as a loser. Now, I'm certain you had a few good moments in there somewhere, but it's difficult to imagine that what you had with this guy was really a "quality" relationship. Every moment you spend obsessing over him is a travesty.
I hope that you have asked your brother and other acquaintances to quit giving you information about him, seriously. Also, this might be a good time to consider taking a night class in an area that interests you. Are you interested at all in drawing or travel? You can meet a lot of great people in classes and it will get your mind off of this guy. Maybe you could compile a list and name all the reasons why it's a good thing you're no longer together. Maybe efforts like these will help to exorcise him from your thoughts.