Don't understand being nice.
I've just realised that a big trigger for me, is witnessing other people, being nice. I feel this rage inside me and I have to attack them and call them fakes. I don't believe anyone could possibly be nice and genuine. All I know to do is to be mean. I dont trust myself even when I may feel a feeling for someone else, I immediately tell myself I'm just kidding myself, that the world is mean and I am mean too.