hello. the words you typed i have felt before. i identify with your name. i have felt alone since i was 18 years old. only through sobriety in this program has that begun to fade. i was the definition of insane. i have since been restored to much less insane thought patterns and behaviors.
you are not alone. AA is a group of people who have experienced the same feelings before. that is why we congregrate together and have meetings. because we understand. we have been there. you dont have to be alone anymore.
there is a solution to make this madness, confusion, and hopelessness disappear. i reached a breaking point and using was too painful to continue on. i have since found peace, stability, and happiness. thank you for sharing.