I didn't know how to be happy without being high or drunk, either. At least, that's what I thought, based on past experiences.
I'm learning that it's possible to create new experiences while clean and sober. Good, positive, experiences.
I had to put my pride in my pocket and ask for help - again and again and again. It's been, by far, the most liberating thing I could ever do for myself.
Focus on getting clean and sober, and in time things will begin to feel better. My heart goes out to you, because I know how much it hurts sometimes.
Keep reaching out, keep sharing. You can do this.
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