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Old 08-23-2007, 07:33 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
duet_4-8
A work in progress....
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
For me, I was able to forgive my exah for all the damage when I finally realized that forgiving him does not equal trusting him or allowing him access to my heart.

Someone once said to me that I hadn't really forgiven him unless I 'forgot' about everything he had done and reconciled with him. I used to buy into that way of thinking completely. I thought it was what I was supposed to do as a Christian. I did it over and over again until I almost lost my self completely.

Then God taught me that he expects me to forgive-for my own sake-but also to REMEMBER things in order not to make the same choices in the future. HUGE difference!

Forgiveness is not really about him anyway, it is about me and not allowing bitterness and anger to destroy my life anymore. Of course exah doesn't see it that way and is drowning in his own bitterness and anger because I won't allow him in my life.

Oh well.....

Tke your time and do what you feel is right. Don't let well-meaning friends push you into something you are not ready for. If your rah is truly in recovery, he will be the first to understand your feelings and not pressure you.

((((hugs))))
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