I love that analogy Wabbit- thank you.
Sadly though it seems at times I WANT to water his lawn - purely because I want control over where our relationship goes and inadvertently needing to be constantly reassured of his spbriety and commitment to recovery and our relationship.
So, taking things personally can be sort of a pity party for me, but also operates in a way that leads me to try to exert more control over someone ELSE'S situation.