I have tried to work with positive thinking, and it is a good start. However it being at the level of consciousness and intellect, I find it does not go quite deep enough to become authentic. The fears, the helplessness, the unmerciful judging goes far deeper into the subconscious. I have just begun truly focusing on the inner child(ren) work. I do not bully these doubts and insecurities, I hear them with deep compassion and speak to them as a loving parent, knowing that I would never treat a/my child this way. I speak to my hurts with hugs, love and reassurance...the same with my doubts and insecurities. I address them with warmth and understanding and nurture that little one inside me. I give the fear a place of comfort. I am just beginning this practice, but it seems to bring me to a place of safety. When these things are comforted and helped to feel safe, it encourages them to feel accepted. I feel more loved. And freer.
To bully them is to abuse, discount and demean these feelings and that is something we do not wish to do to ourselves. I hope to heal them.
This also means that we educate the parent role in us and evolve it so that it has greater power to love well our innermost selves. I believe that through this process, we will naturally grow into self-acceptance and love and a more integrated self, who is no longer ruled by the old tapes of harshness that are both buried and always burbling up.
jmho