Originally Posted by
HKAngel24 
Seems my inclination is to ALWAYS attribute someone's foul mood, lashing out at me etc. as an indication of some defect in me, some mistake I made or something I did that was wrong...
...As I often relay here- there is still that part of me that still thinks that all the hurtful things he said, his neglecting and what I felt to be "abandoning" me was due to a defect within ME and not necessarily the drug usage.
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To me, this is a boundary issue. If we have a boundary, we don't allow anyone to cross it.
Like the property you mentioned, no one but you owns your property. You are responsible for your property too. You keep the lawn watered and the roof fixed. You have a gate on that property that you allow others to come through.
Others have their own property for which they are responsible. No one else is responsible for anyone's property but their own.
If you start to water your neighbors property, I am sure the neighbor will begin to expect you to do it all the time. Then, they will eventually get so used to you doing it that they begin to complain about how you water their property. (All the while, they should be watering their own property.)
And, in the mean time, your lawn is turning brown because you're too busy with his lawn.
You let your own beautiful lawn turn brown from lack of care. Soon, you're spending all your time on someone elses property and not tending your own. Your roses are dying and the flowers are dried up.
You need to go back to your lovely property with the rose trellises and daiseys, and water your own lawn. Pick up the trash and most importantly, THROW IT AWAY. Dump it right back in to his lawn.
Now you can get your property back to where you want it and where your property remains a place you are comfortable with, a place you love and a place that brings you peace.
Llike I said, for me it's a boundary issue. He's crossed the boundary left trash and you picked it up. You even watered his lawn. You started resenting it, and feeling hurt that he didn't help you with yours, instead he kept dumping trash on you lawn.
Next time, stand tall, give him a trash bag and tell him to get his trash off your property and that he can no longer dump his trash in your yard. He can take it to the dump where it belongs.
Then hand him the hose and let him water his own lawn.
I just read through what I typed. I hope it makes sense!! I just worked 12 hours and I am blind tired.
Take care.