Self doubt, self hatred, self condemnation are an inside job as is happiness and a positive attitude. Much of these negative thoughts are "old stuff" that keep one from living in the hope, endless possibility and reality of the present.
In early recovery I attended lots of meetings and discovered when I got stuck in
" self " and negative, grey, dismal thoughts, there was a powerful way out of them, out of "self ". I let go let God ( HP) have all the junk hindering my bright, filled with promise, shining road to recovery. I learned to replace old useless habits of living and thinking ( the grey gunk) with faith, hope and began to experience the many
brighter, beautiful colors of the spectrum. I asked HP each day to guide me on my way and to make me an instrument of light, hope and faith.
I worked with a sponsor six weeks into recovery. She helped me see, one of the best ways out of the quagmire of " self " was to be of service to others who were
in the same lifeboat as I, as well as those still suffering. I had much to offer the newcomer, made coffee at my home Alanon meeting, greeted the newcomer and carried the message of hope to families of As in my local rehab center by sharing my ESH with them.
I found being useful to others as God's instrument strengthened my own recovery and I reaped incredibly positive blessings. Through the recovery process and alot of vigilance my thoughts evolved more and more into positive. I found I could replace
negative thinking with positive as I had the power to change the things I could.
Grey is only one shade while there are so many others to experience, bask in and accept into one's life.
I am in charge of my attitude, my thoughts and my ways and ((( HKangel )) so are you when you make a decision to change the things you can.