Lady & Cece offer, gentle, wise advice.
You're more wise to his addict behavior than you realize. You mentioned his comments about the pot escalation being "your fault," his picking fights with you, his sometimes childish behaviors - and how those behaviors shift attention away from the real problems. You are ahead of a lot of us who needed counseling to see that much.
Maybe a break or limiting the amount of conversation will allow you the freedom to step away from his "quacking" and notice what a wonderful, lovable person you are. I'm not suggesting you have to leave him, just give yourself a little room for air.
My grandmother used to tell me that whatever problems you have will still be there in the morning. A good night's sleep will help you see them more clearly. I think that was her way of saying you've got to take care of yourself before you can set anything right.
I'm sending prayers
