Its not fair I soa gree Wendy. My husband and I have spent alot of time together as he's working again, but nothings changed.
He's back to smoking crcak on Fridays, except now has decided hydrocone and Xanax helps him stay clear of Crack, and it does until he has a cocky attitude a wallet full of cash and several beers after getting off early, then boom right back.
Does he "need " the pills. Hmm 3 herniated disks, still working heavy labor and an infected impacted wisdome tooth, not to mention severe anxiety, sure. But 2 loratabs and half a bottle of Vodka, Ill never believe that. So he's made his problems worse.
All I can do is detach detach detach and let him fall.
I feel for you I do. My dad and step dad are disabled, under 55 and NEVER not under influence of legal meds (Oxy,and morophine respectively) they arent the same people. Im realizing my mom, step mom and grandma were with disabled med dependant men since mid 30s wow, I learned from them to not walk away, at least I figured out where the guilt comes from.
All you can do is let go, leave it in Gods hands cause the probnlem is bigger than we are and all we can handle is ourselves (even that can be tough)