Thankyou all for your kind words. I speak with my boyfriend everyday. What I have the most trouble with is not feeding into his statements that I know in some way are said to get a reaction out of me. I react without thinking and then we get into this neverending circle, of the same argument over and over. For example last night in a conversation with him he said, I dont know ir I want to move back in with you if I get discharged from the military. i asked him why, and he said I want my inependence, I said you have lived with me for 2 years and have had every opportunity to have independence, I asked for rent and help around the house. His response was that "well I shouldnt have to stay home just because you have a day off" I said "you were goin out to do drugs, is that why you want to live alone so that you can go back to doing that without me knowing? His answer was "Ill smoke pot when and where i want to" (almost sounded like a rebellious child) Although he has said he will go to rehab because of depression and much harder drugs that he uses he still hangs onto his pot as the end all be all... I then go into trying to remind him how unmanageable his life had become when he was just smoking pot everday all day, couldnt hold a job couldnt pay bills spent all day with friends looking to buy weed and smoke it, and just wasnt the same person anymore. He says well I wouldve never had to hide it and lie and it never would have escalated had u just accepted it in the first place. So in I go in the same patteren as always "OH SO NOW you are blaming me!!!!! and around and around we went. i need to react differently, to try to stay out of these situations. Other things that I have trouble with .. He will make a so called joke.. "yeah I just traded firewatch with someone for a big rock of crack." (I know this isnt true, not where he is at) But he is saying it to get a reaction out of me, and Why I dont know. What do I do in these situations???