Are you talking to an addict or your spouse?
I must say up front that I am really a rookie here. My AS has a problem and is 8 months sober now and embracing his recovery. So my perspective may be overly rosy or naive.
The only thing I wanted to say is that when/if you address the issue, since confrontation is problematic, is to keep in mind if you can are you talking to your spouse/son/daughter/you name the person..........if they are in active addiction, that is a whole different and IMO a useless conversation.
My AS was the most thoughtful, philosophical, considerate person when he was high. Looking back, I now see that the times he was belligerent, hateful and borderline abusive towards me and my family is when he was jonesing (is that a dated term?!?!). He has now returned to me as a new person I get to know. Sober, but someone I haven't known for a few years. It is a change, but one I welcome.
The point I was trying to come to is does it make sense to confront an active addict? This came up in family group sessions while he was in rehab. There is a big difference between talking to a "drug" and talking to a person. I don't mean to make this controversial, so admins/mods please remove if that is the case or outcome.
If I had it all to do over again there are many things I would change, starting with recognizing my codie issues and stop putting my entire family's life on hold to focus on him. But that is hindsight and doesn't help me or anyone. I am just trying to live in the day as each day comes and set boundaries that keep me sane.... those that aren't dependent on his sobriety or lack thereof. But that is easy for me to say at the moment since he is sober, and this is a son I am talking about, not a spouse.
CRUD! It is midnight here and I have an early day tomorrow so I better go. Sorry for the rambling!
All the best,
CIM