Drained,
You are getting some good advice but the best advice you received was from your own husband “work on your “obsession” with what he is doing.
Strength will come your way when you fully achieve acceptance.
Keep going to meetings and therapy, and look into codependency. There is a great book called “Codependent No More”.
You ask?? Is the only way I am going to have a sane and possibly happy life to dispose of the problem and move on??
Your life today is the reality of a life with an active addict. Addiction is progressive so what becomes normal for you by accepting this active life today could all change when the wind blows tomorrow. A little residue on a bathroom counter to powder in
an old med bottle what comes next? You never know and that’s the problem. You live under the cloud of uncertainty all the time, are you prepared for this? Are you willing to learn to live with stress and anxiety and the ever lasting effects this will have on your children?
I don’t like to use the word dispose when referring to a person but yes walking away from someone who is bringing you hurt and pain IS a healthy response. One that is filled with fear and uncertainty of course that is normal but to allow it to paralyze you like this should be something you need to quickly begin discussing in therapy.
Learn to emotionally detach from your husbands addiction and place all that focus and energy into yourself.