I'm so sorry Diane,
Sometimes when I can't imagine "letting go" completely, I try to "let go" for a while.
Kind of a deal with myself...one week without butting in and we'll see how that goes.
Then if one turns into two...well, thats even better.
My thought is that your son has reached the point of fessing up, knowing that it might bring about more sympathy...and "stuff". Shock and receive. That tactic was very effective for my son for a while...I felt so darn sorry for what his life had become.
His HP has him, trust that as hard as it is to believe at times.
My heart is with you
((((Hugs)))
Cece