I think you just have some work to do on yourself. Baby steps. First things first. Make your list. Check it twice. Decide what you need to do. Is there a place on this message board for journals? maybe you can make one here and keep it cyber. It's hard to face the realityof things but you are right if you write it in black and white it hard to ignore the facts. Good luck to you. YOu don't need anyone to help make you feel less than the great person you can be. These people (addicts) pick people like us because they don't think we have the strength to stand up to them. Let's all show them that we can do it. We can be strong women and men. After your list, start reading Codependent No More if you can sneak it in. It will help with your self-esteem.
Jenny