I understand that sadness. I sometimes see older couples walking hand in hand or helping each other and it is so obvious that they care so much for each other and I will never have that. Or to see 50th anniversery pictures in the newspaper, I look at them and think, these people really love each other or he's a drunk look how she pulls away from him or form other opinions, but but sometimes you can just see that they care and it is beautiful and sad because I will never know that. My anniversary is Thursday....this makes me sad knowing this is not how if should be.
My husband too thinks that I should always be happy. And if not, thinks I am mad at him.
I don't have any words of wisdom, other than you are not alone in this.