I have been guilty in the past of playing "Its over, it's over... c'mon over" with some very unhealthy partners in my life. In the past, I would get my life totally tangled up with theirs. His problems became my problems, his friends became my friends, his pain became my pain. I so desperately wanted a healthy and loving relationship that I turned a blind eye to what was really going on around me. I was like that frog in a pot of water... if you turn the heat up under the water, the frog just hangs out in the pot... yes, it could jump out any time, but it's just not that hot! Then the heat gets so intense that the frog is boiled and dies... because he adapted to the uncomfortable change in his environment.
What helped me was the guidance of a good counselor who told me to RUN not walk to the nearest Al Anon meeting. And today I can say that her advice put me on a great path of personal recovery. Al Anon saved my life. My recovery has taught me a new way of looking at relationships. I don't do it right all the time, but I sure do it better than I used to.
I deserve a partner who is happy, healthy and whole. And I want to be the same, so that when I am with someone, we both are able to give and to receive.
Good luck. We're here 24/7 if you want to chat.
Cats