It is really hard for an addict to stay sober. I know for some, like my ex, it would have most likely meant that he would have to stay in a program and it would be a lifetime struggle. He wanted so much to be "normal" like he was before crack. I don't know if I could fight it. I know he didn't want to end up losing his family. What I am saying is that until he runs into something that causes him more pain than quitting he will continue on his path.
You sound as if you are at a low point right now. I am glad that you are reaching out for help. You will know when you cannot live like this any longer-not one more minute. (When whatever is in the future, isn't any more scarey than what you and your kids are going through right now). I, like many others, wish you could take all the advice and spare youself a lot of pain. Unfortunately, it dosen't work that way.
Right now his addiction is taking you down too, not just him. Your children are gonna need at least one of you!
I hope you get out this weekend and do something fun with your kids.....baby steps!
Hang in there...Michelle