I'm so sorry, wking...
This is no way for you to have to live. This is not a good use of the little bit of time we have on this earth....dealing with an addict, with porn, with infidelity, with lies. I'm so glad you have a counselor who creates an oasis of peace for you.
Giving you a big hug and hoping that you can find your way back to joy, away from this crazy life that's popped up all around you.
GL