Favor, please!
I have a favor to ask all of you. I’m going to post it on both the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers and Friends and Family of Alcoholics board, as I am both! Anyway…
In the few months since XAH left, my life has been chaos. Facing the reality of his addiction and my codependency, being honest with the kids about their dad ~ and dealing with their honesty (Nothing worse than dealing with the fact that I didn’t hide things from them as much as I liked to think…), moving out of our house and back with my parents, going back to school…. It’s been a wild ride.
Thanks to my HP, SR, a lot of reading, meetings, and family support, we’re doing okay. The kids are adjusting, and thankfully making their own conclusions about their Dad. I’m hanging in there.
One of the hardest things for me to do is deal with XAH. Because of the visitation with the kids, child support, and loose ends from the divorce (As in he has to give me the money for the mortgage til the house sells, and I get the money from the sale), I have to speak with him occasionally. After running through the gamut of emotions and over analyzing what to say when we speak , I’ve been doing a lot of praying on it. I know I need to deal with XAH as calmly and in as detached a way as possible, for my own well being. As much as I want to “tell him off” or make him see reason, I know that can’t work. I know I have to focus on what’s best for me.
Now to the favor. I’ve decided that, before I know I’m going to have to speak to him, I need to start by saying the Serenity Prayer, and by reminding myself that I’m not alone ~ my HP is standing right beside me. I’d also like to bring all you wise and wonderful people with me! So, if you could please share any prayers, thoughts, mantras, whatevers you have that I could print out and read through when I feel that twisted pit of the stomach OMG I have to deal with HIM feeling. What sorts of things do you/did you say to yourself to get yourself focused an able to deal with your A's in a calm, detached, healthy manner?
Thanks ~You guys rock!!