but he is so vindictive who knows what he will put me through.
And if you stay? Do you have any idea what the progression of addiction will put you through?
You are afraid - with good reason. You have choices to make - no one here can make them for you. You have some accepting to do - no one here can help you with that part.
This is going to be hard... but staying may be harder.
A time will come when you will be certain of what to do... every step from now until then will be part of that process.
(((hugs)))