Surrender...surrender to being powerless over addiction and turn it over to your higher power. Really, really live those first 3 steps.
When you can do that, trust that HP will guide you to where you need to be, things that you never considered open up. You are still trying to control this...still trying to project, to figure out the solution. I have found that my higher power's plans are much different than any I would ever have anticipated. He finds solutions I never would have dreamed of. Do i still have crummy things happen sometimes? For sure, but that is life...it has ups and downs. But when i truly say not my will but yours, please guide me that way...Guess what...the world suddenly is filled with opportunities. All I need is the strength to do what I have to do, the courage to continue to believe in myself, the trust in my higher power and lots of feelings that positive things can happen and that the world is generally filled with love, not bad things.
I'm not an organized religion type person, but program has made me an extremely spiritual person and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Miracles happen every single day of my life...they will happen to you too. Hugs, I am truly sorry you are in such pain, but you have the power to decide you are not a victim, you are a survivor!