Addicts will suck the life, energy and soul out of you if you let them. You are in the exact same place you were before with the exact same problems its no better or worse. Your husband is still an addict, your children are still living with an addict, with drugs in the house and you are still falling apart. The reason is nothing changes if nothing changes. Your husband has proved to you despite what lies he tells you that he is an addict and is not ready to stop using. You on the other hand believed his last BS lies about getting better. He is not going to change so you have to change your situation for your kids mostly but for yourself too. Do you want to feel like you do now forever? Let go of your comfort zone...do what you must even if it scares you and is uncomfortable to you. It is only a temporary discomfort to save yourself and your children. All of us who have left our As know the pain you are going through but we cant leave for you, you must do that.