I'm sorry Drained...I really am.
They say here that we have to reach our bottom, just as an addict does. The time I spent wanting to believe my son was "better", and consistantly being disappointed that he wasn't were the hardest.
But in a way, it was necessary.
Had I been strong enough to say "NO...ENOUGH!" from the beginning, I may have been left with even stronger feelings that I didn't give him enough of a chance to turn things around himself.
I had to go through my own process.
Living with addiction changes EVERYTHING we thought we knew about our relationship with the addict, be it spouse, child or other loved one.
I had to go way back to the beginning...acceptance...to re-evaluate where I was and where I wanted to be.
My heart goes out to the spouses here that have to deal with financial issues, their personal futures and the future of their kids in the mess. Its much bigger than matters of the heart.
YOU are strong enough to make changes.
YOU are strong enough to determine what YOU want out of life for you and your kids
YOU are strong enough to keep working toward that goal.
Even if it doesn't feel that way right now.
You are not alone
((((Hugs))))
Cece