I am not alcoholic, but my mom and her mom have control issues.
my grandma died 6 years ago, and we don't talk about her at all. I have very limited contact with my mom because she is so controlling.
I told her that i am an adult and will only spend time with her when my schedule allows. She has improved a little but not enough.
Some mothers do not comprehend that adult children have their own lives.
Good luck.