feel like I am not good enough, I never was...this is how knowing that he is with all these women makes me feel. How pathetic can a girl be?
It really is not about you and you are NOT PATHETIC. Most addicts and/or alkies have low self esteem and no self esteem and/or self worth. The other women are an UNREALISTIC way the addict/alkie tries to prove to themselves that they are still desirable (hoping to boost their self worth) and keep themselves in denial.
Just because someone stops using and/or drinking does not mean their 'thinking' changes...............................that takes lots of work.
Just remember that at this time, when he is talking he is QUACKING. Nothing more.
Only you can stop your hurt..........................a good first move would be to STOP READING HIS JOURNAL. Next would be to not let him stay at the house, or if it is an 'honest financial problem' let him sleep in the basement.
Go to some different Alanon meetings, there are many in Nashville, until you find some that you feel comfortable in. Many of us have done that.
J M H O
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.
Love and hugs,