that is interesting; i found ACOA as well to be very compassionate, understanding, allowed for individuality, and very freeing overall. i still go to ACOA. i undrstand it possibly 'derived' out of Al-Anon, but aftert reading the book form the author/founder of ACOA, im really not so sure. both the spouses of the addict, and the addict themselves attend the ACOA simutaneously as most were both brought up in a dysfunctional household, and can relate. its sort of a 'meeting place' in the middle that encompasses all the issues both parties share, whether then enabler or the addict themselves.
the OP didnt say whether the option for ACOA is still available for him....i have two meetings weekly in my area for them. i dont do al-anon anymore but do the ACOA, and did counseling, talking with like-minded people, read books, and used other recovery tools to try and get better; a myriad of things....