Hi Want2live
Just going by your nickname, I can tell that there is a "spark of life" within you that simply needs to be fanned a bit. You obviously have a desire to stop using, but desire alone doesn't provide us with recovery. What we think or feel means very little unless we put them into action. Results count in recovery.
As it has already been said, you've been around the rooms long enough to know how this thing works and what to do. It's time to surrender completely because your way hasn't worked. I truly believe you know what to do, but for some reason you just kept running away. Whatever it is....it's time to get honest with yourself and others - so you can be helped.
That excerpt you mentioned is similar to one in the Basic Text of NA. It says, "If you want what we have to offer, and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps." Like I already said, you have the desire, but you have to follow it up with effort...and I'm talking about consistent effort. You have to "get it" because no one can give it to you. All of us who have stayed clean for years got there by staying clean one day at a time. We followed direction and didn't use no matter what. If we can do it...so can you.
Keep going to meetings. Get phone numbers and reach out. Call BEFORE you use. Remember, no addict can deny another addict their pain. If you've truly had enough, then it's time to do something different (stay clean & recover).