sunrise / sunshine (such happy screen names),
since my ex got out I have really had to focus on making sure I don't go back to my old ways of thinking. I found myself slipping and starting to obsess on his actions and his behavior. Now I am realizing I have to put a stop to that because it is really unhealthy - for both of us.
So now, I am trying to focus on myself and living the way I was living it when he was in - seeing my friends, going to the park with my son, church, being me and being MOM. I am happy and independent, and I cannot let him take that from me. If he wants to come along on my journey, that's fine. But I cannot change my path for him.
I started to feel like (and still have suspicions) that there is a lot more than what my ex is telling me too. I do not trust anything he says right now and it was eating me alive. That's when I realized I really had to change my thinking and focus on my mental health. He is going to do what he is going to do and I have no control. A leopard will show his true spots eventually.
My new motto is "the only drama in my life is the drama I create myself."
Be true to yourself no matter what and you'll be fine.