I wouldn't give any $$ assistance. I wouldn't want it to influence any desicions for the DIL to stay in the relationship w/ your son. She needs to stay for the right reasons. You could help w/ things for your grandson down the road. Could your DIL not have your sone driving a car to teach him the concequenses of his actions? I know when our kids use one of the first things they loose is the car. It is a little harder to get drugs & we don't want them driving if they ae using. Maybe she is doing this to help him & not enable him. Just a thought.