Please know that you need not be embarassed regarding SR.
The back and forth thing is really very, very common.
It's also common that people stay away when they feel they have gone against what was advised.
It takes courage to come here and keep working it through.
If you would look at the addict's forums, you will see many who have relapses and slips, and they just come back and say I messed up and I am back on the wagon.
And the support for them continues as does the compassion.
Still a good idea not to put all eggs in one basket, tho. and that is just my opinion. I am thinking about still keeping an account separate that is your own that you can build funds up in. If everything works out wonderfully, you can use if for a surprise vacation down the road. or etc. If not, you will have a nest egg that you did not have before. Just my advice tho' and nothing more, k?